Part 2: Love is love: Post realisation !
- 11 Sep 2018
"I started meeting other gay men in the city, courtesy Yahoo room. I read so much about it and understood the science. We discussed what we truly were. We had a few private parties. In one such farmhouse party with about 100 men, police landed and boom! New realization: it’s a problem in the country for two people of the same gender to have a relationship. Once police are involved, you know it’s not easy. There were no drugs, no sex workers, just men chilling. But we were all beaten up. They took names and numbers of our parents and warned us against having any such party in the future. Now, it was a challenge to bring this issue up. A few friends and I met lesbians and we decided to organise the first pride parade in Hyderabad. That was quite a task, considering the society’s opinion of us, but we managed to do it.
Meanwhile, my parents had no idea about me being gay. They thought I was working for an NGO. But a few months later, I got too busy and they wanted me to quit. I couldn’t. There was an Ekta Kapoor-level fight at home and everything got dirty. Two of my lesbian friends were at home during the fight and one of them told my mom I was gay. My parents got emotional and were rather shocked. I had a dramatic suicide attempt. It got bad. The intensity died down but my parents didn’t really accept the whole idea of being homosexual. A few weeks later, my interview, as a part of the NGO, was published in a newspaper. That’s when questions from surroundings started pouring in. Being a regular middle-class family, my parents asked me to either quit the NGO or leave the house. The NGO was my baby. I brought it up to this level with a lot of effort. It didn’t take much time for me to decide. I moved out. My mother would call and ask me what’s the reason behind my sexual orientation and that it’s all a mindset. I had to bring instances from mythology to explain that it’s natural and wasn’t in my control. It took her a year but she came to terms with it. Since then, there hasn’t been any pressure from home. They understand that I have a life to live and I will live it on my terms. I respect and love them for that because I know it’s not easy for them either.
Even when the Supreme Court decriminalized Section 377, my mother wished my friends. It’s such an important and historic move. But this is just the beginning. The laws are changing but have the minds of our people changed? That’s another point of debate, and it’s just as important as the law itself. "