Be your first priority
- 27 May 2019
"I had a difficult childhood. My mom is suffering from schizophrenia - a disease that puts people in a different reality, and disorganised speech and behaviour. This meant that I never really could experience the delicate touch of a mother's love while growing up. Even during the few conversations I had with my mom, she would be mentally and emotionally absent. As a child, it was very challenging for me to accept the situation. I would see my friends come to school with their mothers who would help them dress up for fancy dress competitions and also attend PTMs. When I was hitting puberty, I couldn't reach out to her and at the same time, I couldn't ask my father about how to use a sanitary napkin or about the changes in the body. It would make me depressed and it was difficult to understand why I didn't have the kind of love from a mother that others had.
In the middle of all this, my father was quite supportive. He has always been accommodating and encouraging. He would be there for me in every situation and at the same time, give me the space to understand myself that helped me become the individual I am today. He asked me to try all the co-curricular activities and that was a great advice to me! I tried everything from boxing to Bharatanatyam - it was my escapade from all the troubles and confusions that I had in my head. I made a lot of friends but I would always keep seeking for attention and love. You know, I wanted all of it from everybody around because I didn't get it from the most important person in anybody's life - mother! I would do so much for all my friends and there was only little they could give me, which kept hurting me. Fortunately, I met a great boy in senior secondary school who showed me what unconditional love looks like. Since then, I have never looked back. I got over the idea of 'not being good enough' for others. It doesn't matter anymore. If people think I'm not good enough, they can move on. At the end of the day, I need the ones who look beyond my flaws and issues and want me in their lives for who I truly am."
#Childhood #Acceptance #Reality #Family #Schizophrenia #Mentalhealth #Support #Individualistic #Love #Struggle #Flaws #Life #Friends #Society #Hyderabad #HumansofHyderabad