“Growing up in a school with predominantly Hindi-speaking children I was called “fair” or bullied as “idly vada.” When they said I didn’t look South Indian (implying I wasn’t dark), I would take it as a compliment and didn’t defend my entire community which has always been subjected to colorism.

When I went to medical school in a small town in Telangana, I began to notice how much importance was given to skin color or “good looks”. I refused to speak in my own language (Telugu) and acted like I was different from them. This began to change slowly when I saw people’s suffering and despite their meager income they never failed to feed us during medical camps. All I had to do was speak my own language and make them feel like I was one among them. With time, I made friends and watched Telugu movies. I began conversing confidently with people including my own parents in Telugu. I also viewed beauty differently. I chastised people, especially my own family when they used phrases like “dark but pretty”.

During my speciality training in the US, I began to notice how I was again viewed differently. It was as simple as looking at addressing only a white man/woman in a conversation. In the COVID ICU last year, I noticed how people of color and minorities were hit harder and opened my eyes to health care disparities. A patient who was a drug addict once said to me “don’t touch me with those hands” (implying I was dark). That was the first time I explicitly experienced colorism. It hurt me to the core and I truly understood how people back home would have felt. From that point on, I began embracing my roots, my skin color and my back ground. I don’t hesitate to speak in Telugu to anyone who knows the language and even began reading it. I stopped using skin lightening products and stopped fretting about tanning.

I wear Indian clothes often. Most importantly I pay close attention to the health of people of color spending a few extra minutes counseling them. During my conversations I refuse to let people stereotype a person. I don’t let people make fun of Indian accents/clothing/skin color/food. When my friends and colleagues here comment on how I am confident or accomplished or not afraid to be myself it makes me happy. Finally, I don’t anymore feel like just a pretty face who wasn’t confident or proud to be herself. I would love for all of us to be proud of who we are and respect each other in the world!”

#Colorism #Acceptance #bullyingawareness #life #society #stereotypes #bodypositive #equality #feminism #frontline #courage #strength #Hyderabad #HumansofHyderabad