“I didn’t grow up in a happy home, but my childhood was the better part of my life. One wrong decision in my teens changed everything and what followed was a series of struggles that has not yet ended. That decision was to elope with a 21-year-old man, who was a goldsmith. He used to follow me everyday, saying he loved me. I was too young to analyse things or understand the consequences. I didn’t have anybody to talk to either. My mother died when I was four, and my father remarried. I discontinued school after grade 8. I packed my bags and left with him for Srikakulam. He was a carefree young man with no responsibilities. I thought he would change, but he didn’t. He belonged to a different community, so his family didn’t accept me. They would visit us, but wouldn’t talk to me or eat the food I cooked. My husband didn’t entertain my family at home. I had nobody but him.

In a couple of years, we had two daughters. He continued to work as a goldsmith but he spent most of the money on alcohol. We got into financial problems. Nobody was ready to give us loans, but I begged. I asked my family for clothes to cover my kids. It was that horrible! More than 12 years passed by like this – it was a dark phase. Suddenly, my husband went missing. I had no clue where he was. My dad didn’t like having me around, so I couldn’t stay with his family for long either. After almost a week, my husband called and asked me to come to Eluru to see him. I didn’t even know what was going on! I had two girls with me – no money or food. Once I met my husband, he suggested we shift to Hyderabad and work here. Whether it was life or death, it was with him. I’m not too sure if it was because I loved him. In retrospect, I think it was because he was the only one I had. In Hyderabad, we were doing well, but he started drinking again. He constantly doubted me and that led to a lot of fights. Soon, he was diagnosed with cancer. I took him to the best hospitals in the city and spent all the money on his treatment, but he didn’t survive.

Even when he died, I couldn’t believe it. I was lost. I didn’t want to depend on anybody. My life was ruined but I couldn’t let that happen to my daughters. So, I got a job at a jewellery store. I watched the owner and learnt all the gold and metal work. I managed to earn a decent amount of money. For once, finances weren’t much of a problem – the way people treated me was! I was a widow with no educational qualifications and two daughters. They judged me and my children without even trying to know us. It’s a horrible world but I managed to survive. I couldn’t let the thoughts of death affect me. I worked hard and opened my own store, but it went into losses – all of it, only for my kids. Today, they’re engineers working in an MNC. Even today, things are not easy but it’s almost like I’m used to the struggle. But I see my kids doing well and that makes me happy. All these years I have worked hard to bring them to this point. Now that they’re here – I feel content.

That doesn’t take away the sorrow that I’ve dealt with. If I didn’t make that decision to elope, I would’ve had a better life. My father took care of me and wanted to get me married to a good man. It’s not easy for girls, especially from rural backgrounds. But, if you have a chance to study and work, do it. This international women’s day, I want to ask girls to work hard and study. Don’t depend on anybody else for happiness, money, home or anything. Do whatever you can and make sure to think before you leave everything for another person.”

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