Trigger warning•
“Different is okay. Different is beautiful. It took me a while to understand this but fortunately, I learnt it along the way. When I told my mom that I was going on a date with a boy, she wished me luck and asked me to stay safe. Only when I started talking to other kids from the LGBTQ+ community, I realised how lucky I was to have a family that supported me for who I am. But the support didn’t come from my peers. I was bullied in school for being ‘too feminine’, dark and for having a certain style of speaking. I had no friends! Only classmates who would call me names. It made me feel worthless. It was a difficult journey of looking beyond people’s opinions and loving myself.
I don’t think my story is different than an average black male in today’s society, except some love and acceptance from family. I am not special. LGBTQ+ people struggle with depression, anxiety, trauma and self-acceptance as a result of facing ongoing discrimination over their lifetimes. Family issues of acceptance can lead to isolation, loneliness & depression. I battled depression too! I also attempted suicide. Apart from the bullying, a major trigger was rape. I was raped in high school. When I shared it with someone, they outed me to the whole school. I then proceeded to get even more assaulted and bullied because of it. When someone reported it to the vice principal, he invited me to his office to tell me it was my fault because I’m gay. My math teacher pulled my hair, threw my work on the floor and laughed at me. He also told my parents I should go down to a lower class level as I wasn’t very bright. It left me feeling horrible and useless. I felt like this world isn’t the place for me. That’s when I tried to kill myself! In retrospect, I’m lucky I failed. Today, I’m an LGBTQ+ counsellor and I want to help as many kids as possible who are battling with the demons inside their minds and outside – in the real world. It’s not easy. Making fun of someone’s appearance, throwing food on them, name calling, physical harm – unfortunately, these are common in most of our lives. Many times, we’re asked to come out irrespective of how we feel. It’s important to understand that coming out or not is a choice! Nobody should be forced to do it. If anybody around you comes out to you, listen to them. Respect them. They’re humans just like you. Is it too much to ask?
As a counselor, I see parents who support their criminal children while dismissing their LGBTQ child. I’ve seen parents show up to a murder trail every day & that same parent wouldn’t show up to counseling session with their child. If you have an LGBT son or daughter, they were born this way. Embrace them with love and acceptance. Help them reach their dreams and support who they are. There is nothing wrong. Be proud of them. Let them be proud of who they are! Homophobia is real and it needs to end. I am a part of the community that’s affected. I can’t just sit here and ignore a toxic behavior that harms good people. This is how we change the world. This is how we end homophobia, sexism, and racism – support each other and speak up against bullies!”
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