“I don’t think people understand that the last thing someone with a disability wants is sympathy. I have a neurological condition called Hereditary Motor Sensory Neuropathy that I’ve had all my life. My parents always suspected it when I was a child when I couldn’t meet the usual milestones, but it got really bad when I was in the 6th grade and had to leave school. As a 12 year old, it didn’t seem so bad. I got to stay home and play and read and was absolutely and utterly spoilt by my large joint family.

However, when I got to 16 and my cousins started leaving home to go to college and move on with their lives, I felt stuck, like I was incapable of doing things because of something I had no control over. To be honest, through the years 2000 and 2009, I only left the house about once a year. We didn’t own a car that was wheelchair friendly at the time and most places weren’t equipped with ramps either. We’d go on drives, usually to the zoo, because we could stay in the car, but that was about it. It was honestly one of the most exciting days for me when Prasads IMAX opened with ramps, the whole family came with me, it was wonderful! In fact, the movie we went to see was Avatar- I had no idea the protagonist was in a wheelchair, it felt like it was meant to be my first movie in theaters after all those years.

When I was about 18, I saw people going out, falling in love, moving away, and it was heartbreaking. My mind began to echo the voices of all those aunties and of society talking about how important it is to be skinny, or fair, or have a huge income and get married- and here I was, doing none of those things. Most people mean the best when they remind you of everything that is wrong with you.. let me explain. When you’ve spent your whole life convincing yourself that everything is fine, you’re living your best life with what you’ve been dealt, and somebody comes along and says “Oh no, I’m so sorry for you!”, you begin to believe that you need their pity. My mind naturally began to spiral into believing them.

As someone that loved to read, I began to do small freelance gigs with editing, and at 23, I earned my first very paycheck. It was a huge success in my head, but as time went by, I realized I had to shift my focus from working to prove something to society to doing things for myself. I started going to therapy, began to learn how to stop chasing that unachievable dangling carrot that society put out for me, began to appreciate and respect the privilege I have been blessed with, and acknowledge the struggle that everybody deals with.

Over the last few months, everybody has been complaining about the lockdown. For someone that’s specially abled, our whole lives have been in a lockdown. I’m not going to say I’m immune to society; in fact, I don’t think anybody is, but when you have the ability to count your blessings, do it. I don’t know if I deserve to even be featured on something like this, I’m nowhere close to being at my 100%, but even if one person finds any strength from this story, then it’s worth it. I have the greatest support system around me, especially my parents, sister, friends and extended family. They have made me feel more special because of my special abilities rather than the other way around, but what all of us want is just to be treated as normal members of society and I really hope that change comes about soon, whether it’s with accessibility or general demeanour towards people with special needs. I have hope that it will because I don’t want anybody, at least from the coming generations, to go through what I went through.”

#Life #Hope #Accessibility #Society #Family #MentalHealth #HereditaryMotorSensoryNeuropathyAwareness #Support #Friends #Hyderabad #HumansofHyderabad