“It was an important relationship in my life. 20 years of being in love, getting married and becoming parents, doesn’t always mean that it will continue to work out. My daughter was the one who made me understand that we can’t live this way anymore and the divorce was finalized in 2018.

My daughter and I have only each other to call ‘family’. She is 11 years old now. She is an independent person, likes to ask a lot of questions and never judges anything based on its face value. I love that about her. My father has been one of the most influential people in my life. He has taught me everything from how to use a tampon to how to make most of the life I was given. So when he passed away, it shattered me and my daughter as well. Since she was only 6 years old, her way of processing grief was very different from mine. Knowing that while I’m dealing with my grief, I wouldn’t be able to give her space for hers, I decided to take her and myself to therapy. Till date, she has a much better understanding of mental health than most adults I know. I have had high functioning depression for more than 25 years now and I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. Because of this, somehow, my daughter automatically took up the role of a caregiver for me. You know, when you grow filling the gaps for each other, you grow closer emotionally, and that’s what happened with us. I have always had my proudest and happiest moments with her, almost everyday. But this one particular incident, still plays on my mind. Priyamvada, my daughter was 10 years old when she got her first period and unfortunately that day, I had to go for an assignment. Despite having conversations about this since she was 6 years old and of her knowing exactly what to do, the guilt of not being there for her if and when she needed me lingered in my head. But my daughter looked at me then, and said, “Mumma, it’s not even a fever. It’s not a cold, nor a cough. I have all the essentials and I know what to do. I am fine and you can go for your assignment!”.

I call her the ‘little buddha’ because she is so much more evolved and mature than I am. Sometimes, I even ask myself ‘Who is the mother here?’. But she is for me and I am for her, a support and a bond so strong that it puts the strongest knot to shame.”

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