“I met an old friend at an event a few years ago. She came up to me, gave me hug and traced her hands down my chest telling me that I have tiny breasts. Everyone in that room laughed. I felt my blood creep up to my cheeks out of embarrassment and I walked out. This was not something new to me. People have always cracked ‘casual’ jokes about my body, especially my chest. My former boyfriend had told me that I need to do something about my breasts. My 18th birthday cake had a note: ‘Happy birthday flat’. It was like I was nothing but a woman who needed to be ‘sexier’ and ‘curvier’. It was only when I consulted a therapist, that I realised how much of it I’ve heard all my life and how it made me believe that I was not normal or pretty. I would look at instagrammers like Dolly Singh and Sherry Shroff and wonder how they’d pull off that confidence. I would ask my friends, they’re thin like me, then why can’t I be as confident?
During my college, I remember modelling for one of my friends who did a photo series with me. Once the pictures were out, I looked at them – multiple times. It was the first time I looked at my body, properly. I stared hard and realized how beautiful I actually am. That was the breakthrough moment for me. I started to believe that I am beautiful and that gave me confidence. I would wear whatever I wanted. If somebody gave me unsolicited advice, I would ask them to shut up! I was amazed at the confidence that was building up inside me. I began following more activists on Instagram who spoke about body shaming – pimples, stretch marks and more. I started drawing about it too – doodles and sketches. People didn’t stop telling me that I would fly away if the wind blows or that I’m a stick, but I stopped caring. That’s what changed – I love my body the way it is. I love being this petite girl and nothing anybody says will make me love myself any lesser.”
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