“My name is Shailaja Padindala, I’m a queer artist and a film maker.

I started as an artist and expressed myself mostly through paintings. My art themes where mostly about sexuality.
Most times I’m asked the question “When did you realise you are queer?”
Well, it was not like I woke up one day and realised that I was queer. It was a journey, a journey of a curious child. I was mostly inclined towards being free. I never liked Barbie dolls or cooking games as a child.

Because I am a girl, I was raised to wear girly clothing and I was often told by adults to put my legs together and behave ‘lady like’ but that somehow would never come to me. I didn’t like to be looked down or controlled since I was a kid. I played with toy cars played, lagori and such games that was not considered girls’ games. I wore my cousins boys cloths and felt more in that than a skirt or a frock.
I used to admire older women romantically as a child and would imagine to be the man in the romantic songs that played on television. I never knew I was a lesbian back then. These feelings were very natural to me. When other girls in school discussed about their crush / infatuation for boys of their age or adult men sometimes, I knew by now I was different, to talk about my infatuation would not be a welcomed discussion.

Later when I was about 10, I was drawn to a girl who was my classmate but never told her as by then I had come to understand that talking about a desire such as mine would be a taboo,
I hid most of my feelings and infatuation as a secret until I entered bachelor’s.

I studied fine art and painting and in this phase of my life, art history was the subject that opened my eyes to the world of diverse sexuality. I learnt about queer artists in history, one of them also being da Vinci, many such artists lives inspired me. By then I knew it was not abnormal though the infatuations felt were taboo. I knew by 20 that I was not wrong for having diverse sexuality, for being a lesbian and that society was the one that had to evolve to be more aware, in this regard.

I studied cinema after my bachelor’s and came to understand how queer people and women are depicted in a derogatory way. This hurt my dignity as a person in this society and always wanted to do something about it.

I was disowned by my family when I came out to them at the age of 23, and that is when I became financially independent looking for a job for myself.

I worked for 6 years as a video producer on news channels and during this time I was in a romantic relationship (now my ex). My ex-partner’s parents then tried to get me arrested for being romantically involved with their daughter, but since 377 was decriminalised then, the cops had kept me on remand with a false claim that I have kidnapped a girl and that I’m a pimp running a brothel, without any proof. No matter how much I was threatened I refused to leave my relationship with my ex. soon a lawyer from the Alternative law forum came to my rescue.

Ever since then I have been keen on understanding, human rights and my rights as an individual. I have begun reading BR Ambedkar, Periyar, and such iconic ideologies and started studying a lot about constitutional morals.
I started queer activism and joined rallies of pride since 2012 and I am queer activist till date.

My activism is mostly through films, in 2016 I made a short film memories of a machine that talks about child sexuality which got critical attention. This encouraged me to make more films.

In 2020 I released a queer song vote haaki that re-understands women potrayal in ‘item’ song.

In 2021, I made NaanuLadies, the first kannada lesbian love story feature film. It got a global recognition and travelled many festivals, set to release shortly.

After I grew financially independent as an artist and my work got recognised, my parents also came around and made peace with who I really am.

My work mostly is based on women freedom, freedom for sexuality and its diversity. My intent as a queer artist is to bring awareness about women freedom, diversity in sexuality and queer expression in art and media.

I look forward to make queer content and art in most regional languages of India and play a role along with many other artists, to bring more awareness about freedom and sexual diversity in a society.

I would like to tell the younger queer generation that ‘you are important, and whatever difficulty may come shall all pass. The only first step to be free is to be financially independent. So keep going and never look back.

I envision a free society in future where a woman or a queer person or any oppressed member would attain freedom in expression and living.”