TW: Domestic Abuse
“When I was a kid, my parents’ fights would suck the oxygen out of my room. My father would show all his anxiousness at home after his work. I believe it could be because of various emotional and conditional stresses. However, it certainly disturbed the whole composition of a ‘happy family’ at home. They would verbally lash out at each other. As a coping mechanism, my mother would smash utensils in the kitchen. Those outbursts froze me in my tracks. It continued throughout my growing up years and whenever I stepped out of the house, I felt unprotected. My neighbors would ask me what was going on at home and it was quite embarrassing, to say the least. I escaped from reality and avoided people quite often.
Some believed I was rude to them. I had no answers. It did impact my personality and behavior in social situations. But I must say, my parents always made sure I received the best education that they could afford. However, those traumatic phases of my childhood certainly impacted my everyday life. I had to change my academic stream in between due to the lack of social guidance. Of course, there were options for support all the time but I didn’t opt for help. Thankfully, things panned out well after my graduation as I started to cope with my emotions through solo travel. I went on to work with several organizations and also pursued my post-graduation in psychology and media studies. I would say I still haven’t recovered from my fears completely but I am getting better, every day. Now, my parents have realized my situation over time with dialogue and they are trying to behave better among themselves and resolve conflicts in a much better way.
Through my experiences, I have realized that conflict is a normal part of everyday life so it’s not whether parents fight that is important. It’s how the conflict is expressed and resolved, that has positive or negative consequences.
I believe there’s a lot that needs to be done to create awareness of these issues and it can only happen through dissent and dialogue, as well as seeking experts’ help, by implementing various conflict management strategies.”