“In 2015, my parents began the hunt for a suitable husband for me. We met several families and suitors. It seemed like quite a painful process and I quickly lost interest. This went on for years. At the time, my job description involved evaluating people. It seemed like that’s all I was doing in my personal and professional life.
However, as fate may have it, one profile that I had left unattended caught my parents attention. His name was Anvesh and he worked in Pune. Having grown up down south, I was extremely wary about this man and having to adjust to living in the north. I knew this would definitely not pan out, so I didn’t think too much of it when my parents asked me to get in touch with him.
Some time and a few Whatsapp conversations later, we decided to meet. As his host in Bangalore, I asked him where he would like to go. I was expecting to hear the typical “wherever you want” that I’d heard so many times before, but to my relief and surprise, he said “have you ever tried Korean food?”. Being the foodie that I am, I think subconsciously that is where our story really began.
When we met, I saw a very practical and honest man. I always knew I wouldn’t make any conscious efforts to impress a guy because I might not be able to keep it up forever. I saw a reflection of this in him too. He was very straightforward. He asked me if I liked my work. This was the point I knew, like everyone else, he was going to ask me if I’d be willing to find a job where he stays. I told him how much I love my job and he said, “OK, in case this moves ahead, I’ll get a transfer to Bangalore. You don’t have to move out, I’ll move here.” That one statement broke all the chains I had. The reluctance was gone at once. I had met about 30 guys and spoken to at least 50, and he was the first one willing to make a big change for me. I knew then that I was not sitting with a pseudo modern guy. He really believed in treating people equally.
But of course, my mind started playing games, and I even considered that he might already be married (It sounds exaggerated, but one of the potential alliances I met was secretly married!) However, everything was great and we went ahead and got married. I felt at peace, like the world had to pass through him to reach me.
On returning from our honeymoon, he went through a bit of a struggle to find a role in Bangalore, but he managed. He started cooking for me on days I’d return late from work. We’d go to see new places, try different cuisines and love grew..
Almost a year after our wedding, I got a call from one of the Big 4s for an opening in Hyderabad. I was again in a dilemma. He said, “It’s ok, if you think this opportunity is worth leaving Bangalore, we could move.” and so we did. But the twist came when he got an offer letter from another Big 4 in Bangalore. We were stuck. I didn’t know what to do. I was all set for a long distance marriage but he secretly sent an email to the company in Bangalore informing them that he wouldn’t be joining them. Here was a guy who not just moved to bangalore for me but chose my career aspiration over his own, also ensuring that we didn’t have to stay apart.
We’ve lived in Hyderabad ever since and he’s taken care of me as always. He moved out of his previous company and found an opportunity here. I know he would’ve done better in Bangalore, but he’s never said this to me. With his love and care, he’s made me stronger and more independent. I always say, and truly believe he’s a better person than me, and I’m so happy to be with him.”
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